Last night I had a dream. I was in the middle of the ocean, floating in a cardboard box. I felt as if I was stuck in a Winslow Homer painting. The water was an ominous ink blue color, slashed with lines of white foam. The box bobbed through the waves, always one wave from tipping over and launching me into the mysterious, murky depths.
After floating aimlessly for what seemed like a long time, I finally saw the shore. My countenance sank when I fully absorbed the sight that wavered on the horizon. The shore was lined with the most jagged mountains that I had ever seen. The sunlight of the golden hour struck the side of the mountains, which ranged from ultramarine to tangerine. They were the same Maxfield Parrish mountains that I had always revered. So dangerous, yet so amazingly beautiful.

I decided that my only hope was to reach these mountains. So I paddled frantically with my hands. The box which I had been floating in had, remarkably, held up thus far. But it had begun to absorb water at the bottom, and I knew that I was moments away from sinking. As I drifted closer to the shore, I was able to see the fate that awaited me. The waves shattered the face of the rock with their tremendous force. But I had already given control of my tiny craft to the bedlam of the sea.

Just as my mind and body began to relax and accept my inevitable fate, I spotted something moving under a thin veil of the foggy blue water. It was the incarnation of my greatest fear - a shark. It's grand streamlined body cut gracefully through the water. It's tail moving side to side, creating waves that licked the side of the cardboard dangerously. The sight of a shark has always inspired one reaction from me - a terrifying combination of awe and utter dread. It was at this point that the rate of my heart reached frightening levels, and forced my body out of my panicked state of sleep.

I always make a point to dissect dreams that are as vivid and affecting as this one was. I believe that our subconscious is the only part of us that really has the power to reveal the things that we are afraid to face in our conscious, waking state. What did this one mean to me? Brad was able to help a little when he suggested that it was an anxiety dream.

I recently quit my job. Friday was my last day. After a life of struggling, I had finally achieved financial security. But I felt that I had sold my soul. I knew that working in the fashion industry meant only one thing for me - a career full of frustration and disappointment. I have finally decided to put my energies towards creating the things that I love - art and music. But I've never been without a steady job...ever. I cleaned houses and babysat through high school. I graduated early so that I could attend art school, throughout which I maintained two jobs and full time school work. I got my first corporate job at 19. The idea of being without work is the most frightening thing that I can think of. Of course, freelance web design and illustration will provide some security. But at my core, I know that this is the only path for me.

I hope that I can steer clear of the jagged rocks, and keep myself from sinking. I hope that I will be able to create beautiful things.